Writing Dating Profile
Learning how to write an online dating profile that attracts anyone isn’t all that hard. But you aren’t trying to attract just anyone, you want to attract the person who’s right for you. And this can be a bit trickier.
The good news is that after nearly a decade of writing profiles, I can say with fair certainty that my professional profile writers and I have mastered the process.
The 9 Essential Rules For Writing Your Online Dating Profile 07:07 am ET Updated Nov 10, 2014 If you met an attractive man at a party, you would be showing him your best side and flirting up a storm. When it comes to success in online dating, it all comes down to three things: your profile, your photos, and your strategy. With online dating apps split between discovery apps like Tinder, Bumble, and Hinge and apps like Match, POF, Zoosk, and eHarmony knowing how to write the best dating profile for the dating app you are can be confusing. Look for a dating profile writer who will go through your photos with you (either through email or on the phone). They should be able to help you pick your primary image as well as at least 3-5 additional photos to use on your dating profile. From there, people write specifications like they are looking for a piece of furniture. Avoid the usual height, weight, eye, and hair color! Instead paint a picture of the personality of the person you want. This makes your dating profile more interesting to read. #11 Don’t be too choosy, arrogant, and negative.
If you’re wondering how to write an online dating profile, you’re in luck.
Here are seven steps to write a great profile according to professional profile writers:
Step 1: Without the right photos, nothing you write matters.
Sure, this is an article about how to write a profile, but if you don’t have the right collection of photos, even the greatest authors of our time can’t help you.
When putting together your photo gallery, make sure you look flattering in every picture you post. If you can combine this with pictures that also reveal your interests and most attractive personality traits, you’ll have a very powerful photo gallery.
Step 2: Give your profile structure.
See how this article is structured? It’s easy on the eyes because the paragraphs are quick and to the point. You can scan it quickly. If this article was two bulky paragraphs, nobody would read it.
Your profile should be structured in a similar manner. Each “mini paragraph” should tap into a different aspect of who you are as a person.
A sample profile might open with a funny hook, talk about my outdoor interests in the second paragraph, my passion for traveling in the third, my career in the fourth, etc. The point is, each paragraph should tap into a different topic, anecdote, or theme.
Professional profile writers craft profiles that can be read two ways—they can be skimmed for information, but also read like a well-written short story, providing the best of both worlds.
Step 3: Add some bait.
The harder it is for someone to start a conversation with you, the more likely they will move onto the next profile, even if they were otherwise interested. Adding what I refer to as profile bait circumvents this problem by setting the reader up with an easy conversation starter. Let’s take a look at an example:
In the next year I plan on finally exploring Iceland (northern lights here I come!) and taking that long awaited family trip to Italy, but I’m always open to new ideas. Any fun adventures in your future?
The reader of this profile now has multiple entry points to start a conversation. The reader can:
- Ask about my trip to Italy
- Comment on my Iceland trip
- Discuss a fun adventure or idea of their own
- Connect with me on their passion for traveling
It’s a win on so many levels in two short sentences. But it gets even better…
These two sentences also reveal that I like to travel, am open-minded, have a passion for nature, and that family is important to me. Now that’s a lot of bang for your buck.
Bonus Tip: Pictures can be used as profile bait as well!
Step 4: Remove all negativity.
Instead of writing, “If you lack drive, confidence, and aren’t intelligent, please don’t message me,” try, “I tend to get extremely excited by men who are confident, have big goals, and can make me laugh. If you’re the type of guy that also loves to read and get a little geeky sometimes, you may just be my prince charming!”
Never focus on what you fear about online dating or what you don’t want in a partner. Negative energy always attracts negative attention. When someone approaches your profile it should exude optimism, happiness, and portray someone who is excited about the future.
Step 5: Show don’t tell.
Suppose being funny is your thing. If you’re funny, don’t just say you’re funny or that your friends think you’re funny—be funny! This is a snippet from a profile of mine before I was married to an incredible woman:
I can’t seduce you by telling you I play guitar or rock climb.
Writing Dating Profile Examples
But I can play a mean guitar on X-Box and successfully get up a mountain on a ski lift, so I think it balances out.
I’ll save a baby on a Monday, and leave my grandmother stranded for the first beautiful girl I see on a Tuesday. Ok, kidding. I don’t save babies. But I am truly sorry grandma.
This is me actually being funny (or as my wife would say, thinking I’m more funny than I am) as opposed to just saying I’m funny. Everyone says they’re funny, interesting, intelligent, and confident online. So don’t just say it. Prove it.
Step 6: Mix it up a bit.
Diversity is an extremely important and attractive quality to showcase. It signals that a relationship with you won’t eventually turn into a boring and lifeless relationship.
People who read your profile want to know that life with you will be fun and exciting going forward. The more interests, passions, and personality traits you reveal, the more people will be drawn to your profile, and the more likely people will be able to find commonalities with you. So add a mix of things!
Step 7: Check for mistakes.
There are a whole lot of moving parts when it comes to creating an online dating profile. Unfortunately, due to all the competition online, one little mistake that goes unnoticed can accidentally sabotage the entire operation.
It could be something as simple as a phrase that accidentally comes across as desperate or needy, a really bad grammar mistake, poor language choice, a misguided picture, negative energy, or any number of the dozens of unintentional red flags that people accidentally display.
Always proof read your profile over and over, get second, third, and even fourth opinions, and never be afraid to self-reflect if you’re not getting any responses.
Writing a dating profile may seem like a daunting task at times, but the truth is that it’s easier than you think. It takes a little time and extra effort, but you can create a profile that helps you stand out and meet the kind of people you’re interested in.
Joshua Pompey has been crafting profiles for men and women since 2009. Learn more about his profile writing services:
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I started working as a dating profile writer with Match.com in 2004 before launching ProfileHelper.com in 2005. Over the last 15 years, I’ve worked with over 15,000 singles to write their dating profiles and coach them on the secrets to online dating success. In that time, I’ve seen the fall of dating sites like PerfectMatch and AmericanSingles and the Rise of a new era of apps like Tinder, Bumble, and Hinge. I’ve also seen dozens of dating profile writing companies rise and fall.
As I get ready to celebrate my first wedding anniversary with the amazing woman I met on a dating site, my belief that online dating can be an amazing way to find love has never been stronger. I also believe, more than ever, that most people write horrible profiles and post ill-advised photos. There are very few people who wouldn’t benefit from the helping hand of a dating profile writer, but it is important to know that not all of us are created equal.
While I’d love for you all to choose ProfileHelper as your dating profile writing service, I know that not everyone will. Whether you choose to use me for help or go to my competitors, I wanted to make sure that you find someone who can give you the help you need and that you deserve. With that in mind, I’ve created this list of 7 great things you should look for in a good dating profile writer and 7 bad things you should watch out for.
7 great things To Look For in a Dating Profile Writer
1. Experience as an online dater
It doesn’t matter how good of a writer you are if you haven’t been an online dater, you don’t have what it takes to write online dating profiles. Before I ever started ProfileHelper.com, I was an online dater. In the early days of my company, I hired writers with backgrounds ranging from journalism to marketing and even a screenwriter.
Every writer I hired without online dating experience was awful. Their profiles were well-written, but they weren’t good dating profiles. There is a big difference between the way people think online dating works and the way it actually works. You really need to have experienced it for yourself before you can help others.
2. A professional-looking website
When you hire a dating profile writer, you are hiring someone to help present you in the best possible light. If they can’t even put in the effort to present themselves well to you, how can you expect them to represent you well to the rest of the world?
3. A working Phone Number
There are some services that rely on automated systems and as little communication between you and the dating profile writer is possible. This might be efficient, but it isn’t a great way to get your dating profile written. Ideally, any good dating profile writer’s website will have multiple ways that you can reach out to them (we have a contact page, a chat app that can be accessed on any page of our website and our toll-free number: 888-447-7634).
If you are sending an email, the writer should get back to you in no more than 24 hours. If you are calling a toll-free number, they should get back to you on the same day. When I get a call that I can’t answer immediately I will do everything in my power to try and call you back within the hour. If someone can’t be bothered to get back to you in a timely fashion before you have purchased their service, imagine how hard it will be to reach them after they have your money.
4. A Willingness to answer questions that go beyond the profile
A good dating profile writer should be able to answer any question you have about the differences in profiles from eHarmony to Match to EliteSingles, but they should also know how each dating site works, which dating site would be the best one for your age and dating goals, as well as being able to help you determine if online dating is even the right option for you.
Over the years, I have had several people come to me after they had already purchased services from my competitors. There have been numerous occasions when, after talking to them, it was clear that they should not be on any dating site… at least not yet. They were either still licking the wounds of a failed relationship or mourning the recent loss of a beloved spouse. These people were not ready to date. They were grieving, angry, and unable to look forward in a healthy way. Sure, they could have joined a dating site, but they would have been guaranteed to fail based on their attitudes and lack of a real dating goal. While this is my business, I refuse to sell a service to someone I think would be hurt by participating in online dating. Any good dating profile writer will also follow this golden rule.
5. Unlimited revisions of your new profile/ A complete refund policy
If you are going to pay someone to write your dating profile, the service you order should not be considered complete until you are totally satisfied with it. There should never be a limit to the number of revisions that your dating profile writer offers you. You should also never have to pay for additional revisions. You hired them to write you a profile that you feel represents you. Their job isn’t complete until they’ve accomplished that. In the end, if they can’t write a profile that makes you happy, they should be willing to offer you a complete refund of your purchase.
Each of our profile writing services includes unlimited revisions to ensure that you can start dating with a profile that you love and that you feel truly represents you. If we still can’t make you happy, we will refund your complete purchase price, no questions asked. In the fifteen years since I have started Profilehelper, less than 1% of our clients have ever asked us for a refund.
6. Photo reviews included in your profile
If you purchase a profile writing service from a reputable dating profile writer, a review of your photos should also be included in your order. The profile is a vital part of your online dating success, but it won’t get read if your photos don’t help you make a great first impression.
Look for a dating profile writer who will go through your photos with you (either through email or on the phone). They should be able to help you pick your primary image as well as at least 3-5 additional photos to use on your dating profile. They should also be able to offer you tips on what you are missing and how to take those photos without having to spend extra money on a professional photographer.
At ProfileHelper, I will work with you to make sure that you have the photos you need for your profile. I will also be happy to look at any other photos you would like to add to your dating profile for the rest of your single life, at no extra charge.
7. They will help you get out of your own way
One of the biggest difference between a good dating profile writer and a bad one is that the good dating profile writer will help you get out of your own way so that you can shine through in the best possible way. Meanwhile, a bad dating profile writer will try to make you sound more funny and clever, and try to sell you in your profile. You don’t need to be sold to the right person and why would you want more attention from the wrong people?
Writing Dating Profiles Examples
Online dating success isn’t measured in the number of messages you get or the number of first dates you go on. It’s measured in the number of 10th dates that you go on. When you get to a 10th date, you are in a relationship. Almost no one likes dating. Dating should never be your goal when it comes to meeting someone online. Your goal should be to find a great relationship in as few first dates as possible.
7 Things To Avoid in a Dating Profile Writer
Sample Dating Profiles For Women
1. They overpromise
If you talk to a dating profile writer or visit a site for one that promises to get you a ton of dates, don’t trust them. The only thing that any dating profile writer can ethically promise you is that they’ll work with you to create a great profile that you feel represents you in the best possible light. If they are promising you any more than that, they are more geared towards the pick-up artist style of dating and not relationship-based dating.
2. They want to keep selling to you
A good dating profile writer will sell you the service that you need, and that is it. They won’t try to keep upselling you on a more expensive service and they won’t try to tack on other services. It is one thing if you are going to purchase coaching time from someone, but be wary of any dating profile services that seem more interested in selling you additional packages (messaging, video classes, etc…) than making sure they can help you in the most efficient and affordable way possible.
3. They want to manage your messages for you
One of the worst things to happen to the dating profile and dating coach industry over the last couple of years is the rise of services that manage your messages for you. That means they will pretend to be you and message people on your behalf. It’s one thing for someone to help you with your profile, it is a completely different thing for them to pretend to be you on a dating site. Aside from it being against the Terms Of Service of just about every dating site (you’ll be banned if you get caught), it’s considered creepy and unethical by nearly everyone who has been on the other side of one of these fraudulent messages.
A good dating profile writer can help teach you the best way to start messaging someone on a dating site, but it is up to you to communicate with people yourself. It’s the only way to develop a real connection with someone.
4. They sound more like pick-up artists than normal humans
Be very nervous when you come across a dating profile writing site that is trying to sound cool. These aren’t real people. They are pick-up artists. Pick-up artists teach you how to prey on the most vulnerable people for quick hits of satisfaction. They don’t help you find a loving, lasting relationship.
Look for dating profile writers who are focused on finding you a relationship, not just ‘more dates’. If their pitch puts any focus on finding attractive, sexy, or hot men or women, run away as fast as you possibly can! Of course, we all want to find someone that we think is attractive, but catering a profile to people you think are hot, without being true to yourself and what you actually want in a partner is a disaster waiting to happen.
Writing Dating Profile
5. They won’t stand behind their work
You might be hiring someone to write your dating profile, but when all is said and done, you have to live with it. You are trusting someone to put your words and thoughts together in a way that helps you stand out to the right people. If they don’t get it right the first, second, or tenth time, they should be willing to continue working on it with you at no additional charge until you are happy.
If they can’t create a profile for you that you’d be proud to have represent you on a dating site, they should be willing to offer you a full refund. Ask them if they’ll do that before you buy a profile from them. If they won’t, don’t trust them with your money.
6. They rely on questionnaires
Be wary of any dating profile company that relies solely on questionnaires. It is true that we offer some essay-based services for people who don’t want to talk to someone, but we’ll never have one of our profile consultation clients go through the hassle of filling out a questionnaire. They can lead to profiles sounding too similar and they can stifle the organic process of a great profile interview. A good dating profile writer can pull everything they need for your profile out of you in a phone conversation.
Writing Dating Profiles For Women
7. They won’t talk to you
You can tell a lot about someone by talking to them. You should never hire an online dating profile writer without talking to them and getting a feel for who they are. The way they answer your questions on a call are a lot more important than what it says in the FAQ of any website. Ask them why they do what they do, how long they’ve been doing it, and what they’d consider a successful outcome for you. If you can’t get in touch with the person who will be writing your profile, or you aren’t happy with their answers to your questions, they are probably not the right dating profile writer for you.
Dating Profile Examples For Men
I really hope this helps you if you are thinking about hiring a dating profile writing service like ProfileHelper. It is important to know that there’s no shame in asking for help when it comes to your dating profile. I’ve had everyone from school teachers and engineers to reporters for some of the world’s largest newspapers and CEOs for Fortune 100 companies as clients. Writing about yourself is hard. If you have any questions about what we do and how we can help you, give me a call at our toll-free number: 888-447-7634 or send me a note through our Contact Us page. You only get one chance to make a great first impression. Let me help you make sure you put yourself out there with photos and a profile that shows the world how great you are!